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Hey, I come with a story from Lyiint from fanfiction.net, who doesn't have an LJ, but is an awesome writer! Really, she's absolutly amazing, and I really wanted you all to be able to see her newest creation, so I offered to post it here for her. But, please remember, that she's the creater, I'm just the beta, okay? She's really an awesome writer, and this is only her third HP story that she's written (her other two are amazing as well). So, please review after you read this, okay? She'd really appretiate it! ^_^ Later!

 The whole idea of this story came from the lyrics of various songs and I decided to write a story around them. I’ll make note of any of the songs I use in the chapters and I hope you all enjoy it.

WARNING: Please mind the rating – NC17. This story is meant for mature readers only and contains scenes of child sexual abuse which some readers may find offensive. Please do not read further if you feel you will be bothered by this.
If you or someone you know has experienced child abuse, here are some links that you may find helpful:

My most profound thanks to my beta, M.T.Dog, for all her help, advice and ideas. *hugskisseslove*

This chapter has been inspired by the song “Welcome to the Black Parade” by My Chemical Romance

Chapter 1 – The Black Parade

When Draco was small, his father took him into London to see the muggles. He pointed out all the faults of these inferior creatures to the young boy and the blonde still remembered what his father said that day.

“Draco, when you grow up, which will you choose? Will you be the saviour of these broken, beaten and damned muggles or will you defeat your inner demons and all the non-believers to our cause and the plans that they have made?” Draco’s father had considered him very seriously as he spoke to him, but to tell the truth, at that time the future Slytherin really didn’t understand what his father was talking about. Too young then, but he was taught to understand later.

His father then continued, “Because one day I will leave you, my heir, to join the black parade of Death Eaters and carry out your duty as a Malfoy.”

Later that day, when they returned home, Lucius apparated them to Draco’s first meeting with the Dark Lord in an Albanian forest hideaway. The blonde was initiated into his destiny that day and into that evening and it was something he never forgot. The fear and awe he felt as he watched the disembodied Voldemort take possession of another human being. He remembered gripping his father’s pant leg in chubby, trembling fingers. He couldn’t stand to look at the Dark Lord and lowered his wide, grey eyes in the face of that intense stare and those red eyes, those eyes that held such intense expectation of him. Instead, the blonde gazed at the way the shadows played across the ceiling and walls of the dimly candlelit room as men in masks bowed in servitude to that terrifying lord who grinned from the face of one of his followers.

Even to this day shadows made Draco nervous. Before he went to Hogwarts, he used to dream about them becoming monsters, Death Eaters, or worse, the silent, overbearing form of his father. Always the shadows had red eyes. At one point, his nightmares had gotten so bad that he would wake the whole household almost every night with his screams and Draco’s mother would have to stay with him until dawn when finally they would both fall into an exhausted sleep.

Now, at fourteen, they didn’t cause the same sheer terror anymore, but Draco still slept with the wall to his back, whether at home or at Hogwarts. He could never relax fully or sleep heavily and was always aware of his surroundings; always prepared for a quick escape if required, always able to wake at the smallest noise. And as much as possible, he sleeps in complete darkness, with no light to cause shadows of any kind to slink and creep around the room.



The blonde teen startled at the sound of his father’s soft voice, but quickly suppressed the quick jab of panic in his chest that the man’s presence inspired. ‘Damn, I’m too distracted with memories. I’m losing it if I can’t even be aware of my father. I wonder how long he’s been standing there.’

Draco sat up from his reclining position on the bed and calmly gazed at his father who was blocking his open doorway. The blonde was quiet and relaxed looking on the outside, but internally his instincts were clamouring for him to flee. Of course he ignored them.

“Do you have everything ready for your departure for school tomorrow?”

“Yes, father,” Draco responded politely. ‘Go away. Don’t come in. Leave me the fuck alone,’ he pleaded in his mind.

As if Lucius had heard his son’s thoughts, he gave a barely perceptible nod and then walked off, leaving Draco to flop back on the bed, his heartbeat racing and his breath coming in short gulps. ‘Gods, what if my father knows what I’m planning? Can I even go through with it? I hate having to struggle with this uncertainty.’ The blonde had even seriously considered not coming home after the end of last term. The only thing that stopped him was that he didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t even have to imagine what would happen if his father ever realized that he’d been toying with the idea of switching sides.

What had really done it for him had been the Quidditch World Cup that had been held this past August. He had been having a marvellous time. His father had been attentive and kind to him, something that had been getting rarer and rarer as of late, and he had been sitting in a nice box seat, able to see everything perfectly.

That had been all ruined by the sight of the Dark Mark in the sky. His father had gruffly told him to run to the woods and then both his parents had disappeared, leaving him on his own. Draco had been angry and afraid, afraid of what the Death Eaters were doing to the people that were at the campsite and that they might also capture him, not knowing who he was. Angry that his father had found following the Dark Lords commands more important than his own son.

He had run into the golden trio of Gryffindor that day and he had tried to alert them to the danger, hiding his warning behind sarcastic and bitter words. One never knew who might be listening and he had certainly learned to be careful when he spoke. As much as it might surprise everyone, Draco did not want to see Granger killed. God help him, but he had wanted to go with them when they left.

That day had been a terrifying and eye opening day for the young blonde and it was when he first starting wondering about the sanity of following a man that would kill others so easily and indiscriminately. There could be no way that the Death Eaters could tell Pureblood from Muggleborn in all that pandemonium.

Draco fretted and worried about it over the rest of the summer. He didn’t even know if he’d be accepted by the others. Would Potter and his miserable cohorts even believe him or would they send him reeling and decimate his dreams of finally being free? All Draco was sure about was that Voldemort’s misery and hate would kill them all.

Still, the status quo would be hard to cast aside. If the light refused him, he’d have to deal with his father and the lost expectations he had for him…and he’d have to deal with Voldemort. Between the two Draco was unsure of who would be worse.

The fourteen year old got off the bed and changed into pajamas, soft silk of pale grey that caressed him like a gentle lover. Tomorrow he’d be on the train to Hogwarts and he’d have to carry on though his fears.

‘I don’t care at all. The world will never take my heart. It can try, but it’ll never break me,’ Draco thought to himself, trying to shore up his courage and push back the panic attack that hid inside him, looking for an opportunity to overwhelm him. Panic attacks that he hadn’t had since he’d been small.

‘I’m gonna play this part and I won’t explain or say I’m sorry. I’m not ashamed. I’m just a boy, not a hero. Not like a certain someone believes themselves to be.’

Current Mood: amusedamused
24 August 2007 @ 08:05 am
Um...hi! Sorry to bother everyone, but I was wondering if you all could help me find some fics. I want to read where Draco is beaten, abused, raped, or anything else, and Harry, when he finds out, comes to Draco's rescue (ya know, comforts him, takes care of him). Rating doesn't matter, I'll take anything from PG to NC-17! ^_^ Thanks so much for your help, I really appretiate it!
Current Mood: chipperchipper